Daily Prompt: Imaginary Friend

TA – DA!

That was the name of my imaginary friend.  And she was a legend in her time.

EVERYONE talked about Tada, my friends and family and sometimes even strangers asked me if she existed.  They just wanted to see what I would say so they could laugh at me I guess.

I never really ever had an imaginary friend like some do, but her existence began at a very young age as a defense against my mother’s sarcastic wit.  I was forever trying to perform and my acts were always accompanied by me yelling “Ta-da,” very dramatically.  One day my mother quips up “Tada, who’s Tada?”  To which I answered “she’s my friend.”  Then I had to describe her as I threw out answers off the top of my three-year-old head in response to my mother who was barraging me with questions, thinking she was funny.  I remember being angry with her sarcasm so I kept it up as long as she did.  A trait I had to continue to this very day in my relationship with her.

Later on my younger sister would ask me about Tada and I would tell all kinds of funny or strange stories to keep her amused and laughing.  She would tell others about it, our friends or kids she knew in school, but I didn’t.  Those were the strangers who asked about Tada that I mentioned earlier.

The death of Tada kind of suits this Halloween time some celebrate.

When I was about 11 I told everyone that Tada had sadly passed away and I was to have a funeral for her that afternoon in the local cemetery. Yeah, you heard right.  I was so sick of people asking me about her I finally had to kill her!  I took an old doll of mine that was really messed up anyway, and wrapped it in a shroud and went with my sister and some friends to that cemetery where I proceeded to desecrate the hallowed grounds by holding a mock funeral for dear little plastic Tada, whose existence served me well for about 8 years of my life.  I did it in the back some place and actually buried the doll and left it.

I sometimes imagine someone finding the body of Tada and thinking “WTF” as the kids say now.

Daily Prompt: “Rectum, Darn Near Killed ‘Um!”

When I used to work in the Automated Collection System for the Internal Revenue Service there was an email that made the rounds that someone started to make us feel better about our highly stressful position.  It claimed that there was someone who actually tested the anal thermometers so I guess that was supposed to make us feel better about the daily reamings we received dealing with the angry taxpayer calls when they found levies on their bank accounts or liens on property.  We did the dirty work for them.

According to Snopes.com, it was a joke.  Click on the site if you wish to hear the whole story.


Weekly Photo Challenge: Community

I will not be posting a photo for this photo challenge because I do not borrow other people’s work for any reason.

When I saw the word “Community” I right away thought of my new-found sitcom, “Community!”  Even though it just started it’s fifth season yesterday, January 2nd, 2014, I only recently discovered this hidden gem of a comedy series being rerun.  I purchased the first four seasons and look forward to the sharp, sometimes hysterically funny humor as well as the sometimes poignantly written dialogs that delve deeply into each of the main Community College characters played by: Joel McHale, Gillian Jacobs, Danny Pudi, Yvette Nicole Brown, Alison Brie, Donald Glover, Jim Rash, Ken Jeong, and the group’s curmudgeon played by Chevy Chase, still funny after all these years!

I especially love the paint ball episodes!  Very well done.  If you get the chance to view an episode, you might be hooked too!

Weekly Photo Challenge: Surprise

When I was young I was so surprised to find out that I was the only witch in ballet class!

ugliestgirlinballetclassThat was before Botox was discovered!

(Posing after my witch costume was removed one Halloween)

Scared the Turd Out of a Little Bird Today

I swear it screamed!  If birds can scream, this little bird actually screamed when it looked back and saw that I was right behind him.  That he actually let his guard down like that and could not sense “human inches away” must have freaked his little bird brain right out.  He was digging feverishly in the sun-scorched dry dirt for something, anything that even resembles a bug so it took him a few seconds and he let me walk up to him and stand for a few seconds before he looked back and with a very loud and shrill TWWEEEET, took off across the yard.

I do have bird baths and fountains so they are getting enough water and cooling off, but they are eating all of my black and red raspberries this year.  If I go out near the berries they start squawking and gathering all around by me like a scene from the birds.  They do not want me near their food supply.  I tried to get it on film, but when I go out with a video cam, almost no birds are in sight.  When I step out by myself they are doing all kinds of “fly” things.  One large robin was sitting in the middle of the berry bush, looked at me come towards her and just kept eating and ignoring me so I stood there resolute in the knowledge that I will not be getting anything from my garden this year.  Then if by chance they miss something, yeah me!

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