Life Really is a Bitch

And Then You Die.

I remember when I first heard this expression and laughed heartily.  It was after I had been through many trials in my life.  I think I was in my early 30’s at the time.

This is a true saying so stay here as long as you can and try to get as much enjoyment and fulfillment as you can without taking anything away or harming others.  That being said, serving others used to bring me much fulfillment until I could see what I was really doing.  Mostly “enabling.”

I don’t think it’s a favor to anyone to placate and make their lives easy when your life is so hard.  It actually makes no sense at all.  How is this coddled person ever supposed to develop character of their own?  How are they ever going to be tough enough to live in this cold cruel world when they have others in their life treating them like a new-born baby just so they can feel needed.

Anyone else see the cheery gif on Facebook & Twitter?

 Sad that this is where I am at right now and it’s not going to get better.  I can’t even pretend but I really don’t want to get into everything right now besides TWO of my brothers are critically ill at this time.

One of my brothers is hanging on after being in a coma for about a month, is able to eat and be transferred to a wheelchair after being completely bed ridden for which I am very grateful but another brother has now taken a turn for the worse with possible cancer and surgery in the next couple days which I am praying about.  Sad fact is I can’t snap out of it.  I can’t even make myself feel “Christmassy”  I should feel super happy and grateful that my brothers are still here, though just hanging on and I’m expecting a miracle for them but I think feeling such horrific stress that comes with a loved one on the brink and not knowing has been just too much for me.

I’ve tried, believe me.  Too many treats, trying to make myself feel better.  I’m even considering taking up drinking which I hate!  Wasn’t keen on this woman’s idea of fun either.

This one, cute, but also a no.

So I know why it’s so hard this time of year. I have posted a few things about my dysfunctional life but not much. I wanted to keep this blog as superficial as possible. I hate being real because real for me is not an option. I LOVE being in a dream world. Not one of drugs or being artificially high but one where I am lost in a good book, maybe an old movie, a painting or some act of creation, when art was my thing. I love being lost in beauty or something interesting. I hate dramas, never liked soap opera’s because I had enough real drama in my own life. I needed peace.  Strange that I find solace in social media now because sometimes you get some real weirdos.  Most are pretty cool though.  I enjoy it.

I was never alone in my life til the last few years. It’s been horrible and great depending. I actually hate being alone. At first it was pure torture and it sort of fragmented me, but now that I’m used to it in a way that I can deal with it, I have found that I don’t like being around others for too long.
I get uncomfortable for various reasons from boredom to trying to placate or figure out someone’s unpredictable behavior.  Oh the joys of human interaction!

I do know that since I have been hurt many times in my life, I no longer trust. When you don’t trust, you can’t be around others. You become sort of paranoid. I knew others like this. That started avoiding others and got like a hermit. That’s a little like I’m becoming now. I moved to an area I had always wanted to live when I had money, but now that I have no money I was able to move here. Boy, if that’s not the story of my life….A dollar short and a day late, damned if I do and damned if I don’t. I can never get my life timed right. Anyone else ever feel that way?  This picture shows why I now have zero tolerance for the narcissism of the typical alcoholic and all the trouble they cause for others.

Christmas 1960 where dad must have been drinking again. I feel so bad for my family and how sad or scared we all look.

Some do have their lives go along perfectly, their plans are never disturbed. This was never my case. I knew women that could plan when they wished to become pregnant and they did. I did the same, didn’t happen as I planned doing everything right. Same with other things in my life like working hard, saving, etc. Finally purchased a home and the mortgage crashed. I realized it really didn’t have anything to do with poor decision making but just bad luck. I actually used to feel that I was cursed and reading the Bible used to make me feel bad about myself in this regard. I felt that God didn’t bless me because I must be doing something wrong. This really turned me off religion. I since got into the actual Words of Christ so I get it. Life sucks, people suck and it’s just one of those things. All you can do is pray and never give up no matter how much you want to.


Truth is, you never know when something’s going to turn around. You never know if you can be a blessing for someone else and not even know it. So F the bad luck and BS of the world. Jesus overcame it all for us and the very least I will do is LIVE and walk in the Word to show that I appreciate it.

Daily Prompt: Cherish God With All Your Heart

Merry Christmas everyone!

Last of the excerpts from the Holy Bible, the Gospel of Luke.  The Nativity of our Savior Christ Jesus which we celebrate by tradition on December 25th.

Luke 2

  1. And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds said one to another, Let us now go even unto Bethlehem, and see this thing which is come to pass, which the Lord hath made known unto us.
  2. And they came with haste, and found Mary, and Joseph, and the babe lying in a manger.
  3. And when they had seen it, they made known abroad the saying which was told them concerning this child.
  4. And all they that heard it wondered at those things which were told them by the shepherds.
  5. But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart.
  6. And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things that they had heard and seen, as it was told unto them.

 

Daily Prompt: “Holy Infant So Tender & Mild”

Always loved the song “Silent Night.”  We would sing this every Christmas when I was young.

Enjoy the continuation of the Nativity, the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Luke 2

  1. And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.
  2. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.
  3. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.
  4. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.
  5. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.
  6. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,
  7. Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

Daily Prompt: The Miraculous Birth of Christ

Please enjoy the following verses regarding the Miraculous start of the “Greatest Story Ever Told” Luke 1:56-66

Luke 1

  1. And Mary abode with her about three months, and returned to her own house.
  2. Now Elisabeth’s full time came that she should be delivered; and she brought forth a son.
  3. And her neighbours and her cousins heard how the Lord had shewed great mercy upon her; and they rejoiced with her.
  4. And it came to pass, that on the eighth day they came to circumcise the child; and they called him Zacharias, after the name of his father.
  5. And his mother answered and said, Not so; but he shall be called John.
  6. And they said unto her, There is none of thy kindred that is called by this name.
  7. And they made signs to his father, how he would have called him.
  8. And he asked for a writing tablet, and wrote, saying, His name is John. And they marvelled all.
  9. And his mouth was opened immediately, and his tongue loosed, and he spake, and praised God.
  10. And fear came on all that dwelt round about them: and all these sayings were noised abroad throughout all the hill country of Judea.
  11. And all they that heard them laid them up in their hearts, saying, What manner of child shall this be! And the hand of the Lord was with him.

Daily Prompt: Have You Answered Your Calling?

Many Christians feel a “calling” to a higher purpose in life.  Some act on this and others find this difficult for many reasons from feeling foolish or superstitious to putting it off because they are too busy in their current lifestyle.  Find a way to work that calling into your life.  God never meant for us to do drastic things to prove our love to Him.  Many overlook people and things in their own lives that need their attention to go and serve in this higher capacity while neglecting who they were really meant to serve.  Pray on all matters.

Enjoy the next section from the First Chapter of Luke that ushers Lord Jesus the Christ into a world that forsakes Him for the most part.  This part of the Bible blessed me to hear of the babe leaping with joy in the womb of his mother Elizabeth at the sweet sound of Mary’s blessed voice!

Luke 1

  1. And Mary arose in those days, and went into the hill country with haste, into a city of Juda;
  2. And entered into the house of Zacharias, and saluted Elisabeth.
  3. And it came to pass, that, when Elisabeth heard the salutation of Mary, the babe leaped in her womb; and Elisabeth was filled with the Holy Ghost:
  4. And she spake out with a loud voice, and said, Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb.
  5. And whence is this to me, that the mother of my Lord should come to me?
  6. For, lo, as soon as the voice of thy salutation sounded in mine ears, the babe leaped in my womb for joy.
  7. And blessed is she that believed: for there shall be a performance of those things which were told her from the Lord.
  8. And Mary said, My soul doth magnify the Lord.
  9. And my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour.
  10. For he hath regarded the low estate of his handmaiden: for, behold, from henceforth all generations shall call me blessed.
  11. For he that is mighty hath done to me great things; and holy is his name.
  12. And his mercy is on them that fear him from generation to generation.
  13. He hath shewed strength with his arm; he hath scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts.
  14. He hath put down the mighty from their seats, and exalted them of low degree.
  15. He hath filled the hungry with good things; and the rich he hath sent empty away.
  16. He hath holpen his servant Israel, in remembrance of his mercy;
  17. As he spake to our fathers, to Abraham, and to his seed forever.

Daily Prompt: Relate to This

Christians can all relate to the story of the coming of the Lord.  Enjoy the following excerpts from the Bible, Book of Luke for the next seven days leading us to Christmas and His Holy Birth.

Luke 1

  1. And in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God into a city of Galilee, named Nazareth,
  2. To a virgin espoused to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David; and the virgin’s name was Mary.
  3. And the angel came in unto her, and said, Hail, thou that art highly favored, the Lord is with thee: blessed art thou among women.
  4. And when she saw him, she was troubled at his saying, and cast in her mind what manner of salutation this should be.
  5. And the angel said unto her, Fear not, Mary: for thou hast found favor with God.
  6. And, behold, thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and bring forth a son, and shall call his name Jesus.
  7. He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the Highest: and the Lord God shall give unto him the throne of his father David:
  8. And he shall reign over the house of Jacob for ever; and of his kingdom there shall be no end.
  9. Then said Mary unto the angel, How shall this be, seeing I know not a man?
  10. And the angel answered and said unto her, The Holy Ghost shall come upon thee, and the power of the Highest shall overshadow thee: therefore also that holy thing which shall be born of thee shall be called the Son of God.
  11. And, behold, thy cousin Elisabeth, she hath also conceived a son in her old age: and this is the sixth month with her, who was called barren.
  12. For with God nothing shall be impossible.
  13. And Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto to me according to thy word. And the Angel departed from her.

Weekly Photo Challenge: Ascend to the Father

It’s almost Christmas and Jesus is the “Reason 4 the Season.”

Isaiah 9:6 For unto us a child is born…and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The Mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace

Born to die for the sins of mankind.  John 3:16 “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

Jesus ascending to heaven.